I´m Demi and I´m 15
years old.
I´m spending my last weeks,
as an exchange student, in the USA, right now.
I´m originally from
Germany, where I lived as an only child with both of my parents.
Well one of the reasons I decided
to do this exchange year is because I got kind of bored with my life in Germany,
nothing seemed to change. Now after spending 9 month away from home everything
changed.
That´s what I wanted,
right?! Honestly, I´m not sure about this any more...
Right now I´m good, but in
a few weeks when I flight back, I don´t know what will happen.
The way I see the world
changed, it made me change; I´m sure my friends changed, too. But that all
isn´t what scares me the most, the thing that makes me freak out are my
parents!
Thanksgiving 2011, my
parents broke up, a fact that I actually can handle. My parents always used to
fight, and there where so many moments I thought they would just break
up.
And it happened, in a kind
of way it was still shocking, since I waited for years and it never came...
When they told me, they
said "But everything will stay the same till you come back!" Of
course I knew it won´t! It were still 7monthe till my return...But I didn`t
expected it to change that much!
Christmas my dad moved out
and told me that he had a new girlfriend; I had to watch my mum cry on Skype.
It wasn´t easy... Then Easter my mum was better, but then my dad told me about
his new, new girlfriend, and how they might move together. That was the point
where I started panicking! I looked at this "new girlfriends" fb
profile, and realized, that I´m not a fan of her....
Now I really don´t know
what will happen when I come back....I want my parents back, I don´t care if
not together, but I want to be important to them! I probably am, but I don´t
feel it, they all just got back their freedom, I toke from them when I was borne,
what made them marring.
I´m really afraid of what
the future brings, because right now I feel really alone and don´t know what
will happen...
I know I´m strong and smart
but am I strong and smart enough?!
Hi Demi,
ReplyDeleteThe unknown is scary. But you are facing it and not hiding from it. It's in realizing that something is overwhelming that we are humbled and can accept and receive support we couldn't have imagined from others and from God, just when we need it. In my experience, people that think they have it all together and can do everything on their own smarts and power, are the ones who struggle the most without getting through a situation whole.
Keep sharing your heart. And share what you need honestly with your parents. They may not be able to give it to you right now because they may be caught up in their own pain or new life, but things will keep changing and one or both may be able to see and meet your needs soon, if not right now.
My prayers and thoughts go out to you.
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it! <3
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